Holiday Movie Picks for Gen X and Baby Boomer Singles Part 1 of 2

If you’re a baby boomer or Gen Xer who is single this Holiday season, I’ve got some movie recommendations for you. Three have a common dating message; one is just pure comic relief that will get your mind off dating during the holidays for a while. In this episode, part one, we’ll take a look at the “Holidate” from Netflix and “12 Dates of Christmas” from ABC Family.

As I outline these movies, I’ll review the common message each movie shares about one of the biggest frustrations many of us have regarding online dating and the awareness both movies can provide. Links to the official trailers for both these movies are provided at the end of this post.

The Holidate – Netflix 2020

Our first movie is “The Holidate,” this came out in 2020 and is a Netflix production.

Sloane, played by Emma Roberts, and Jackson, played by Luke Bracey, are fed up with the pressures of being single from family and friends on the Holidays. During a chance meeting while returning Holiday gifts, they agree to meet on upcoming Holidays as plus one friends in an effort to stave off peer and family pressure during these gatherings.

Their pact starts on New Year’s Eve and cycles throughout the year. Then on to Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Easter, Cinco de Mayo, Mother’s Day, Fourth of July, they get through a wedding, Halloween, and Thanksgiving, leading back to Christmas again over one year. As Sloane and Jackson meet for each Holiday date, they slowly grow on each other.

The movie will have you both laughing and crying. Keep in mind now that this is not a family-friendly movie. If you dare to watch this with kids around, you will have some explaining to do. Back to the movie here. Now, neither Sloan nor Jackson developed initial chemistry or infatuation, and this is a common theme for many of us in online dating, known as the one-and-done date.

Important Note: This is not a family-friendly movie. It is best not to have children around when you watch this one or be prepared to explain some awkward situations.

The Message The Holidate Sends:

The parallel here is that many of us have experienced what can seem like countless one-and-done dates, frustrated that we don’t get a chance to demonstrate our admirable qualities. As Sloan and Jackson spent more time together, they got to observe those qualities and slowly grew on each other.

As a side note, while this podcast does not advocate office romances, men and women who are not initially attracted to each other often grow on each other as they spend time working together at the office. This is where they have the time to demonstrate their outstanding qualities.

In the online dating world, it’s quite the opposite. Mostly comprised of many seeking instant sparks and infatuation, which is often confused with chemistry. If they don’t experience chemistry within the first 15 minutes of the meet up, they quickly move on, never giving the other person the opportunity to demonstrate the values that they actually are seeking in a relationship. The time-tested lesson in this movie is that if someone passes as normal during a meetup date, Please give them some time or a few dates after that.

Give them a chance to demonstrate the qualities that may not be apparent initially, and let those surface as dates develop.

         12 Dates of Christmas – ABC Family 2011

Our next movie is “12 Dates of Christmas,” from the ABC Family Channel in 2011. (Important: Please don’t confuse this with the 12 Dates of Christmas HBO series.)

This stars Amy Smart as Kate and Paul Mark Gosselaar as Miles. The movie begins with Kate leaving the office Christmas party on Christmas Eve with her co-worker while there’s still time to purchase a Christmas present for her ex.

Now Kate is in heavy pursuit and overly confident that she can get her ex to see the light so they can get back together for that happily ever after relationship. She has a one-track mindset for accomplishing this goal, and we find that Kate has a very busy Christmas Eve ahead of her, including a blind date meetup set up by her father’s new wife.

Kate explains to her co-worker that she’s already made up her mind that the blind date is not going to go anywhere and that meeting him is just a formality that she needs to address before she can meet up with her ex and get back together with him. Christmas Eve for Kate turns into a disaster as she goes through the rest of the evening behaving in a highly selfish manner by being rude and behaving badly to her blind date in order to get through it as quickly as possible in the quest to meet up with her ex. Combined with additional selfish behavior at her family’s Christmas Eve dinner.

Kate gets home, and the clock strikes midnight, at which point her day resets, and she wakes up back on the floor of the store where she fainted. The story now becomes a Christmas version of the movie Groundhog Day. Kate realizes the days are repeating and tries various gambits to get back together with her ex at Miles’s expense.

As the scenarios play out, she begins to understand why the relationship with her ex failed and eventually accepts responsibility for her behavior and causing its demise. She also sees how her selfish behavior affects her family and neighbors, as well as her Christmas Eve blind date with Miles.

The bottom line is that Kate is forced to relive the blind date each time. As she does, she begins to warm up to Miles as she learns more about what a great guy he is and that it was a mistake to write him off so quickly.

(Important:  Not to be confused with the HBO Max series)

        The Message 12 Dates of Christmas Sends:

Kate making up her mind before the date even started parallels with several online dating experiences where I received post-date feedback from my date, where she admitted to deciding it was going to go nowhere before we even started to talk or within 10 minutes of the date, because there were no immediate sparks or butterflies, in a few cases, I had a couple of dates tell me that it wouldn’t work because no immediate storybook romance developed.

The movie is an excellent example of how attraction can build if you go into a date without a preconceived notion or outcome, have an open mind, and give it a few dates.

        Lessons Learned:

So what did we learn? Both the Holidate and the 12 Dates of Christmas remind us that quality dating suitors are not always evident right off the bat. If a date passes as normal on a meetup, give them a few dates to show those potential qualities. Lastly, we shouldn’t go into dates with preconceived notions about whether they will work out.

-Paul

Year Released:  2020

Year Released:  2011