About 50 Dates at 50

The Concept Behind 50 Dates at 50

The initial idea behind 50 Dates was to create a place for people to share dating stories.  If you set up an average of one new meetup date every other week, that’s 26 per year.  After four years, you can exceed 100.  Each of those meetups has a story.

In the early days, there are a lot of one-and-done meetups.  This is due to the learning curve involved with online dating.  In online dating, you have to acquire many skills.  This starts with writing a good profile and having great pictures taken.  Next is learning how to properly communicate through the website or app interface.  Then you have to pull the trigger: ask for the date and set up the logistics.  At the date, you must demonstrate you’ve got your act together and can hold a good in-person conversation.  If things go well, you get a second date and so on.  You need to get proficient with each interval before you can successfully move to the next one.  This requires lots of trial and error, which means lots of rejection.

I personally got to the point where I embraced rejection.  It was like a classroom with enough success along the way to keep me interested.  I figured I could use the skills I’d learned to teach other men how to be more successful at online dating.  The website development shifted in that direction.

However, the more dating I did, the more I really began the see the big picture.  Many people find dates online, but few, it seems, are able to find quality partners.  Many of the women I met while dating had very strong opinions regarding online dating.  They had some great stories.  Things were just not what they used to be!  This showed me where the true need was for this website.

There are many dating websites and apps that help match up singles in all age groups.  In our age group (40’s, 50’s and 60’s), most of us are getting second chances to find a quality person to be with.  As such, 50 Dates at 50 is about learning from our life experience, growing into better people and better daters, understanding what it is to be relationship ready, and keeping long-term relationships fresh and strong.  In a successful dating relationship, two people who are growth-minded and open to making small tweaks that help them become the ideal couple find and commit to each other.

50 Dates at 50 was launched in July of 2020 after twenty-plus months of development.

-Paul Nelson

Paul’s Story

After 21 years of marriage, followed by a separation in 2012 and the completion of an amicable divorce in 2014, I re-entered the dating pool. It was truly a culture shock coming to terms with how the dating world had changed. I’d basically been off the market since 1989.

What became obvious rather quickly was that most of the dating and relationship knowledge taught to me in my younger years was filled with half-truths or was completely inaccurate.  Many men and women in our age group are stuck in this outdated and incorrect mindset.  To make matters worse, a good portion of the current dating advice on the Internet is from millennials with minimal real-life experience.  As a result, most men do not understand the fundamentals of dating and how to properly communicate with women.  Likewise, most women do not understand how men think.

As an engineer, I like to know how things work.  In order to grow as an individual and become more dateable and relationship savvy, I set upon a course of learning that I hoped would help me better understand relationships, human interaction, and how women think.  I read anything that seemed appropriate, listened to podcasts and mp3 books, participated in boot camps and seminars, and applied what I learned to my social and dating life.

“Growth” is the best way to describe the experience I ended up having.  We all know growth can be a painful and ugly thing. It means falling down, skinning your knees, and facing humiliation.  In fact, “Mistakes” became my middle name.  I met many quality women who had great relationship potential.  Unfortunately, with many of them, I had not yet grasped enough knowledge to be the quality dateable man they were looking for.  In many instances, I never got past the first date.  However, when you stay the course, magic eventually happens—magic from your hard work.  After a few years of hands-on application, everything began to make sense.  Dating became fun, getting multiple dates in to evaluate relationship potential became typical.

50 Dates at 50 is the result of over 110 first dates in which I developed into becoming a good dater—one who became prepared for the right person to come along.  And the learning continues!  Here, we will continue to discover together how to become quality, dateable men and women who know how to spot other people of quality.  The website is born of observations and life experiences.

– Paul Nelson

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“Confidence is going after Moby Dick in a rowboat and taking the tartar sauce with you.”Zig Ziglar